"Ladai jhagde se pyar badhta hai" ( Translation for my english-smitten-indianlanguages-longforgotten friends: "fights and tussles increase the love"). Yup! The classic, antique, ever-trending saying - often said by people in times of truce (justifying that they are still in love and even were when they fought) is in lines with the relation between professional fighters (no hard feelings - it is just a fight).
This age-old i-was-disgusted-now-i-am-back-in-love thing is a piece of amusement (no i am not advocating against it... I am quite neutral... Well may be). The point of amusement is the kiss-and-makeup feelings which people (well! Just like science, exceptions are always there) often potray to simply hide their inner insecurities (who wants to see one's partner leave him/her after a fight) and to keep their ego intact (EGO factor - the classic killer of relationships, friendships and even causing professional factors - will blog bout it some other time... Can write a thesis on it.. Yeah m not void of it ofcourse! M human :P).
People are too used to each other - so much that this inter-personal bond ( i like this term... Sounds better than over-hyped love/soulmates/affair n other equivalents) has led to one partner have undue advantage over the other.
( whatever is blogged after this point in this post has strong resemblance to some friends and acquaintaces... As if i care)
Been seeing a lot of people in IPBs where the guys are just dominating their girls in the name of ever-famous "love"...
Interesting replies when i asked them at a certain point of time:
(a) "the girl is supposed to be under CONTROL"
(b) "i am a MAN.. She is a girl"
(c) "i pay for her expenses.. Pick her up from college and drive her back home.. She owes me that much RESPECT"
(d) "if i dont dominate her, she could cheat me easily"
(e) "how can she talk to the other guys, I SHOULD BE HER ONLY GUY"
(f) "i would make her pay heavily if she doesnt listen to me"
(g) "it took me so much time to make her love me, how can i let her be free."
N one thing that's more striking is that the girl can't question his way of life - n if she does, he gets back at her - changes the topic - and makes her answer some insignificant question (e.g., why did u add XYZ in facebook, or why did you put that picture on facebook, etc.) - n then when he knows he's got the upper hand - NO ARGUMENTS!!!!!
(now i know it may be sounding just like an another idealist pro-feminist post.. But nopes i aint making any strong statement... There are plenty of ngos n all taking care of that)
Such guys are to be blamed. Yes! Definitely. And such girls need to get a life. Yes! I aint going easy on them either.
Most of these dominated girls (includes depressed and even girls who commit suicide coz the guy left n all) love or are accustomed to being dominated (and that too in the era of equality). The guy is free to have the cherries in the park and the girl lives in the lovey-dovey artificial zone (that the guy loves her and she loves him).
I remember last year talking to a friend (girl) who i met at my former college after an year or so. We just greeted n all and were talking about hows and wheres. And there far across the road was her boyfriend who was constantly ringing her phone and honking her phone and she left in a jiffy not even finishing the talk. And later that evening she messaged me that she and her guy were having some fight and apologised for leavon abruptly. ( i was pretty much like OK! SHE GOT OWNED... She used to be a lively and free soul!)
No more emphasisng or highlighting what happens; everyone of us i aware of it and most of you or your friends are or have undergone this.
The only point i want to make is ( i know i made too many :D) happiness is shared n not owned... Equality is the key. (give respect/ get respect kinda thing). Speak up whats om your mind, let out those controlled emotions, make interpersonal bond a everything-for-each-other bond and not I-rule-you-get-ruled bond...
N one final advice to my friends and other people reading this post... SELF-RESPECT is a much better attribute than imminent SELF-PITY.
-
Slahu
P.S. I had never thought of writing any strong serious kinda stuff in this blog... But i guess been witnessing lot of crap around... So just thought of jotting it down
This age-old i-was-disgusted-now-i-am-back-in-love thing is a piece of amusement (no i am not advocating against it... I am quite neutral... Well may be). The point of amusement is the kiss-and-makeup feelings which people (well! Just like science, exceptions are always there) often potray to simply hide their inner insecurities (who wants to see one's partner leave him/her after a fight) and to keep their ego intact (EGO factor - the classic killer of relationships, friendships and even causing professional factors - will blog bout it some other time... Can write a thesis on it.. Yeah m not void of it ofcourse! M human :P).
People are too used to each other - so much that this inter-personal bond ( i like this term... Sounds better than over-hyped love/soulmates/affair n other equivalents) has led to one partner have undue advantage over the other.
( whatever is blogged after this point in this post has strong resemblance to some friends and acquaintaces... As if i care)
Been seeing a lot of people in IPBs where the guys are just dominating their girls in the name of ever-famous "love"...
Interesting replies when i asked them at a certain point of time:
(a) "the girl is supposed to be under CONTROL"
(b) "i am a MAN.. She is a girl"
(c) "i pay for her expenses.. Pick her up from college and drive her back home.. She owes me that much RESPECT"
(d) "if i dont dominate her, she could cheat me easily"
(e) "how can she talk to the other guys, I SHOULD BE HER ONLY GUY"
(f) "i would make her pay heavily if she doesnt listen to me"
(g) "it took me so much time to make her love me, how can i let her be free."
N one thing that's more striking is that the girl can't question his way of life - n if she does, he gets back at her - changes the topic - and makes her answer some insignificant question (e.g., why did u add XYZ in facebook, or why did you put that picture on facebook, etc.) - n then when he knows he's got the upper hand - NO ARGUMENTS!!!!!
(now i know it may be sounding just like an another idealist pro-feminist post.. But nopes i aint making any strong statement... There are plenty of ngos n all taking care of that)
Such guys are to be blamed. Yes! Definitely. And such girls need to get a life. Yes! I aint going easy on them either.
Most of these dominated girls (includes depressed and even girls who commit suicide coz the guy left n all) love or are accustomed to being dominated (and that too in the era of equality). The guy is free to have the cherries in the park and the girl lives in the lovey-dovey artificial zone (that the guy loves her and she loves him).
I remember last year talking to a friend (girl) who i met at my former college after an year or so. We just greeted n all and were talking about hows and wheres. And there far across the road was her boyfriend who was constantly ringing her phone and honking her phone and she left in a jiffy not even finishing the talk. And later that evening she messaged me that she and her guy were having some fight and apologised for leavon abruptly. ( i was pretty much like OK! SHE GOT OWNED... She used to be a lively and free soul!)
No more emphasisng or highlighting what happens; everyone of us i aware of it and most of you or your friends are or have undergone this.
The only point i want to make is ( i know i made too many :D) happiness is shared n not owned... Equality is the key. (give respect/ get respect kinda thing). Speak up whats om your mind, let out those controlled emotions, make interpersonal bond a everything-for-each-other bond and not I-rule-you-get-ruled bond...
N one final advice to my friends and other people reading this post... SELF-RESPECT is a much better attribute than imminent SELF-PITY.
-
Slahu
P.S. I had never thought of writing any strong serious kinda stuff in this blog... But i guess been witnessing lot of crap around... So just thought of jotting it down
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